Nerves

In a few hours I have my first appointment at a pain clinic. It never fails. Every time I have an appointment with a new doctor, that whole day I'm a mess. It's kind of mixed emotions. Going to see someone new is a little exciting and i get a little glace of hope. Maybe just maybe, this will be the doctor who will listen to me and help me. Having a painful disease is hard enough, then to add the fact that its invisible unless you are in surgery.. makes it even harder to get a doctor (or anyone) to believe the pain that you're in. But with this specific doctor I have also sees a good friend of mine who has endometriosis as well. So that gives me a little bit more hope that I won't be pushed to the side. I will post an update later about how the appointment went. But for now, all I ask if for prayers and positive vibes.

When you have a chronic illness, there are times that doctors offices start to become a second home to you. It's just the sad truth, no matter how much you don't want it to be. I can't even begin to count how many times I have been told that my case was just to complex and was referred to someone else. You try so damn hard to be optimistic, but sometimes it's just too hard. There's not many people I can talk to about this. To most people I’m either being too emotional, or exaggerating, there is no in between. If I am quiet about my pain then it is seen as invalid, but if I am loud about it then I am viewed as attention-seeking.

Chronic pain is an illness that not many people understand. That is, unless you deal with it. It is silent, but my I’m either being too emotional, or exaggerating, there is no in between. If I am quiet about my pain then it is seen as invalid, but if I am loud about it then I am viewed as attention-seeking.voice isn’t. As a person who deals with multiple chronic illnesses, I know it’s hard. But sometimes you have no choice but to be bulletproof.